My Biggest Cheerleader

I have two amazing parents that have supported me and cheered me on my entire life.  I would say that my mom is my biggest supporter, in that she sees no mountain too high or no dream too big for me and God.  She pushes me, by her example and by her encouragement to press forward...to go for it and not look back...and she does everything she can to help me.  She not only allows me, but exhorts me, to step out in faith and follow the path that God has laid out for me...no matter how crazy that path is :).

My dad was my biggest cheerleader.  I could have walked into a door and he would have been proud of me :).  He beamed over me...and it wasn't because I was a great daughter (i mean don't get me wrong ;), jk)it was because I was HIS daughter.  I knew that no matter what I did, my dad would have been proud of me.  He would have preferred that I stayed in Indiana with him, but he knew that I was going to be heading out soon...he didn't stop me- he didn't even try (even though I knew he wanted to)...he cheered me on.  He told me that he knew I could do anything.  That God always protected me.  He told me that I was special. 

I miss him so much...especially in these last four years, when my life has taken some radical turns in crazy directions...I wish that I could hear him cheer me on.  I wish I could hear him say that everything would be just fine. 

When I was thinking about how my dad was my biggest cheerleader, I thought about so many things...like the day he "escaped" from the hospital (left against all of the doctors and nurses wishes) just so he could drive down to my track meet on senior night and walk me out on the field.  Then, he went back to the hospital.  He said he couldn't miss it.  It was just a senior night!

And then I think about the year my dance team lost in the state championship (we were robbed) and he didn't allow it to go down quietly.  My quiet, kind-hearted, gentle dad...threw his water bottle in the Judges' direction and said some not so pretty things.  When I heard the story I couldn't believe it.  My dad, who would have killed for me to be a basketball player, showed up to every dance competition, attended every recital since I was five years old...and he became completely invested in the entire process...because His daughter loved it.

And then I think about the day he dropped me off at the Honor Academy in Texas.  I had turned 18 one month prior and as hard as it was for him to see me leave for the year...he stood by my side the entire time.  I didn't know it until later, but my mom said that my dad wouldn't leave the area for hours.  As much as it pained him to allow me to grow...he did. He cheered me on the whole time.

I am so blessed to have the parents that I have.  And though, it is so hard to know that I won't see my dad until I go meet Jesus myself...I realize that I still have the biggest cheerleader ever (well my mom of course, but I wasn't going in that direction :))...my God.  My heavenly Father.  I realize that no matter what I do...nothing can take his love away from me.  Nothing can diminish it.  He loves me...because I'm His.  He created me.  He cherishes me...no matter the mistakes I make...my God upholds me, forgives me and drenches me in his grace.  Because of the sacrifice of Christ, nothing can separate me from the love of my God ... and the support of my biggest cheerleader.

A New Kind of Relationship

I remember feeling completely numb in the months following my dad's death.  I remember going back to Virginia Beach and turning all of the distractions off for a time and just trying to focus on God...trying to heal...trying to get answers...trying to work through the pain of losing someone I loved...of losing my biggest cheerleader. 

I remember not wanting to even open my Bible...of being too weak to struggle through it.  I felt so guilty and yet I was still so numb.  It was then that God revealed to me the beauty of my Dad's relationship with Him.  Of the way that my dad grew closer to Jesus every single day in the simplest and most beautiful way.  He didn't open his Bible as much as I would try to encourage him too, but he spent the entire day with Jesus. 

If he was well enough to mow the greens at the golf course he would carefully and diligently make Tameka Woods the prettiest golf course in Johnson County.  And all the while he would speak to Jesus.  He would seek God in His creation...and not only seek Him, but find Him.  Just as God promises.  My dad was filled with a peace that I still can't grasp.  He embraced the trials of his life with dignity and quiet strength...and He now walks with God. 

When he was too ill to mow the greens and he was stuck in his bed, he would stare at a picture of Jesus that hung over the mantel and would speak with Him every day.  He would enjoy the birds that fed contantly from the bird feeders my mom had placed outside of their bedroom windows...and He would be at peace. 

My dad was not perfect by any means...but after looking back at his relationship with God I found myself full of hope during that seemingly hopeless time.  God was showing me a whole new way to relate to Him.  A new way of experiencing Him...of getting to know new facets of His glory.  In my weakest moments, God was showing me His strength...the same strength that he poured into my dad during his weakest times. 

I am so thankful that my dad embraced the strength of God.  I am so thankful that he embraced the peace of God.  And I am so thankful to serve a God who embraced my dad and embraces me...just as I am...when I'm at my weakest, making me my strongest.  It's a tough journey, but it sure is leading us to a beautiful home.

To dance with my dad again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLuP-4ZEhOE

I love this song.  I remember the very first time I heard it.  It was on my Dad's birthday, the very first one that I was celebrating since he went to heaven.  I was with my boyfriend Scott, and we were in North Carolina with a bunch of friends, just enjoying a fall break.  I wanted to take some time to get away from everyone and just think about my dad.  I remember that we were in the car together and he said..."This is the song that reminds me so much of you and your dad." Scott had only met my dad one time, but from that meeting and our conversations, he knew what kind of relationship I had with my dad. 

He was such an amazing man.  His legacy still lives on in incredible ways.  I think about him every day...every single day.  It's been almost four years since he passed away and my heart is still broken.  I don't know if I will ever be fully healed... until that day when I meet Jesus.  When I get to see God face to face and share that moment with my dad.  When all of the tears that I have cried here on earth are wiped away for a final time...and my mourning is replaced with dancing. 

Thank you for that hope Jesus...thank you for the peace that you give now and the promise of perfect peace...the promise of total  healing...the promise of complete and utter redemption, not because I deserve it, but because you cherish me...because your grace is my strength.  Your power is made perfect in my weakness...and Lord I will cling to you now...and walk with the hope and assurance of sharing eternity with you and with my daddy.  And that one day, I will get to dance with my father again.