Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Ten Years...



Wow…a lot has changed in ten years.  On December 6, 2006, I awoke to a sunny day ready to take on my very first ever law school final exam…Contracts.  I walked out the door of my studio apartment at the beach and headed to school, not realizing that for the first time that year, I left my cell phone behind.   The exam went well and Scott and I decided that we would take a break from all things school to celebrate the first exam being behind us. We went to the driving range and  I think that might have been the first time we ever golfed together.

It was a beautiful day with lots of sunshine.  I remember Scott giving me some tips and I was so excited to show my dad my new swing.  Later that day, Scott dropped me off at my apartment and I found my phone that was left behind.  27 new messages.  My stomach fell. I called my mom, and the first words she choked out were “Kel, your daddy died.” I fell to my knees. My dad had passed early that morning in his sleep and I was playing golf.  Which is actually one of the most beautiful aspects of that day.  Golf was one of his very favorite things about this world.  So While I was hitting balls and excited to show my dad, he was already watching. 

Scott came back quickly and we just walked the beach.  All of the Christmas lights were beaming on the boardwalk and I was sharing stories of my dad.  He let me talk and talk and talk.  And then he just let me be. That day seems like yesterday when I think about it…and then when I think about how much as happened in these last ten years…it seems like a lifetime ago.    

I go through my moments when I’m just really sad at the adult life that could have been with my dad.  Having my mom out here now and coming over for dinner on a whim, the long days on the boat, the family time at the beach and on the golf course…my dad would have been in HEAVEN. Well I guess, he is already there…so he’s not really missing anything.  And there’s not a day that he’s not on my mind.  It’s like he’s still been a part of everything these last ten years.  He so easily enters my mind with the most mundane thing, so many times a day.  It’s quite amazing really.  I used to be afraid things would dim, memories would fade and I would begin to forget.  But honestly, He’s more alive now than ever before.
 
And that gives me so much hope for my future. It gives me hope for my future in this life and hope for my eternal future.  Having my dad in heaven…next to Jesus…gives me the feeling like I have one foot there too.  The feeling that this hope is not so far off…is not so inconceivable (although the beauty of it is).  When I’m feeling stressed, bogged down by the things of this world and fearing all of the unknowns…I remember the promise of my Savior and I feel peace...that no matter WHAT happens here…there are permanent glorious days ahead. 


I think the greatest gift I could give to this world is walking  a life of faith, joy, peace and hope.  I want people to see and feel Jesus in me…and realize that His gift of eternal life in a place of eternal bliss…is for every person, no matter the walk of life, no matter the choices that were made or are made in the future, no matter the fear of the unknown and the questions and doubts.  His promise only requires you to believe it and confess it…as simple as that.  Jesus Is Lord. 

Romans 10:9: If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.