Saturday, November 27, 2010

A New Kind of Relationship

I remember feeling completely numb in the months following my dad's death.  I remember going back to Virginia Beach and turning all of the distractions off for a time and just trying to focus on God...trying to heal...trying to get answers...trying to work through the pain of losing someone I loved...of losing my biggest cheerleader. 

I remember not wanting to even open my Bible...of being too weak to struggle through it.  I felt so guilty and yet I was still so numb.  It was then that God revealed to me the beauty of my Dad's relationship with Him.  Of the way that my dad grew closer to Jesus every single day in the simplest and most beautiful way.  He didn't open his Bible as much as I would try to encourage him too, but he spent the entire day with Jesus. 

If he was well enough to mow the greens at the golf course he would carefully and diligently make Tameka Woods the prettiest golf course in Johnson County.  And all the while he would speak to Jesus.  He would seek God in His creation...and not only seek Him, but find Him.  Just as God promises.  My dad was filled with a peace that I still can't grasp.  He embraced the trials of his life with dignity and quiet strength...and He now walks with God. 

When he was too ill to mow the greens and he was stuck in his bed, he would stare at a picture of Jesus that hung over the mantel and would speak with Him every day.  He would enjoy the birds that fed contantly from the bird feeders my mom had placed outside of their bedroom windows...and He would be at peace. 

My dad was not perfect by any means...but after looking back at his relationship with God I found myself full of hope during that seemingly hopeless time.  God was showing me a whole new way to relate to Him.  A new way of experiencing Him...of getting to know new facets of His glory.  In my weakest moments, God was showing me His strength...the same strength that he poured into my dad during his weakest times. 

I am so thankful that my dad embraced the strength of God.  I am so thankful that he embraced the peace of God.  And I am so thankful to serve a God who embraced my dad and embraces me...just as I am...when I'm at my weakest, making me my strongest.  It's a tough journey, but it sure is leading us to a beautiful home.

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